Itâ€™s no fun for her (and embarrassing for you) when it all endsâ€¦ too early. We got top sÃ¨xologists to reveal eight secrets for having longer, better sÃ¨x.
1. Study the Kama Sutra. â€œThere is a technique mentioned in the Kama Sutra for delaying Ã¨jaculations s that basically comes down to training yourself to last longer,â€ says Harper. She instructs men to start slowlyâ€”with no more than one â€œin/outâ€ stroke every three seconds. â€œHe should then build more strokes slowly over the course of 4 or 5 minutes, until he is moving one stroke per second.â€ If the man starts to feel like he is going to come, he should stop and â€œhold himself inside his partner until he feels in control again. Then he begins the whole process again.â€
2. Get Out of Your Head. â€œPerformance anxiety is the number one killer of sustaining an erection,â€ says sÃ¨x coach Dr. Patti Britton, a board-certified Clinical SÃ¨xologist. â€œShift your thinking to a more confident inner voice, as opposed to a worried voice.â€ Britton explains that a â€œself-debilitating mindsetâ€ is what shuts guys down. â€œWhen you begin to feel anxiety, the strategy is to stop, take a breath, and then focus on how things feel in the body. Stay out of your head and get into your bodyâ€”focus on the feelings that your body is producing for you.â€
3. Change things up. The best thing to do if youâ€™re getting close to the edge? Alter your speed, advises human sÃ¨xuality expert Catherine Toyooka, the founder of Catherine Coaches sÃ¨x workshops. â€œTry teasing her. Take your penis out and rub just the head of it sensually up and down and between her labia. VaginÃ s have lots of nerve endings clustered in the lower portion of their vaginÃ l canal, so this move will still be very enjoyable for her to experience.â€